BrokenBikeOnABalanceBeam

...Just Stop Pedalling

Im totally too lazy for this now, but Im still gonna make the effort, cause Im in a good place, and I want it on record.

Today I have had a well well nice day. Really, relaxation is very underrated.
I think it started with a train journey. I took one journey there, a guestimated 15 minutes of uninterrupted thinking time. Music in my head, but no words to be reciprocated, no book to get lost in, so yeah, I thought. I started thinking about people and their situations, grudges I just cant let go, the next year, all sorts really... I thought about the person I love, in practically every way possible, impractically, and how in less than a year, I actually may have to let them go for good. I also contemplated whether this was a positive or negative prospect, alien or familiar, how I was going to cope without that one boy in my life, because honestly, that scares me. However, at this point, eyes clouding over, angerously close to an embaressing and inevitable outward display of emotion in a public place, I - abnormally- managed to tell myself, seriously, stop this. You need to stop doing this. Right now. And I did [=

And this is why Im posting a blog right now, because for once in my life, in my opinion, I have something valuable and perhaps valid to say. Get ready for the motherload.
Because I think I might have finally decided to act my age. You know, that actually not what I mean at all, because growing up doesnt mean growing old, slowing down, stopping. I think everyone needs that relaxation, release, whatever it is I mean, thats what I mean. Ahahaha, basically acting like an ass, and not giving a shitnugget what you look like, what the concequences should be. Because without that, I guess wed all just go insane?
So, here comes the mandatory cliché. Prepare yourself. Read it through a few times, say it aloud, copy it down, cover it and repeat it, study every letter and every possible meaning because thats the problem with clichés, no one pays attention to them because theyve lost their meaning through repetition and the fact that theyve been oh so harshly branded and placed in this catagory of unacceptable vocabulary and or phrases...
Life Is Short.
And if Im slipping this in, just as subtlely as a giant cake in a garden, heres another;
You Only Live Once.

Both underrated clichés, according to me, because theyre both very true, and when you accept that, you can actually start living your life and stop... thinking too hard?
So Im going to fucking live my life. Because my school days are nearly over, my childhood is over, and in... three years? I wont even be a teenager anymore. Before I would have flinched at that and forgotten Id ever merely whispered the words, but you know what? You cant change what hasnt happened yet, and worrying about the future sure as heck isnt gonna stop it from happening. Why would you even deny yourself that anyway? Plus, seeing as Im a little supersticious too, in the words of Zach on The OC, 'You Cant Fight Fate'.
So, seeing as this cliché ridden cornfest is a little overdone already, Ima try and wrap it up... in a very roundabout way...

So if anyones eyes, by some freak chance have fallen upon this ridiculous thing generally regarded as a blog, I hope maybe in some tiny subconcious way this has helped you or affirmed something you were unsure of, because today was a fucking great day. And I spent it wandering around some village in the south of england, having some meaningful, some not so meaningful discussions, and just enjoying... anything and everything I could. And right now, Im not feeling so jealous or desperately attention seeking, albeit Im worrying a little about some things still, but theres not enough time in the world for that to be worthwhile, or validate those pointless emotions wasted over things I just cant know right now.
And I cant wait for my favourite people to come back home and to see everyone because now that I can tell myself to shut up and get it together, I can actually appreciate them and everything so much more, without that baggage that I just couldnt let go any of the time. Im leaving it at home from now on.

Anyway, were all bloody lucky to be here. Were all amazingly privaledged and lucky, so lets make the most of it, right? Wow, this was looonnngggg...