Ignite The Airwaves

Im almost certain thats the tattoo Im getting (Y)

So Ive been feeling pretty weird right now, probably affected an annoying amount by my simultaneous cold and chest infection and thus lack of sleep or actual activity...
Of course results happened. Of course I messed up. I didnt expect to do well, but I think what got to me is that this year, yeah I was lazy, I didnt try as hard as I should have in some parts- the exams- I guess, but I did try fucking hard, and the parts where I tried hardest/thought I had the most control, apparently, I did the worst. Its just kind of hurts to know that even when you do give something a pretty hard shot, its just not good enough. I should have tried much harder, Im not excusing myself that! Technically, I should never have got into where I am, I guess fate handed me an opportunity like... 6 years ago and I could have made the most of it, maybe improved, but I really, really didnt. Im going to shut up about it now I promise, Im just not quite sure where to take it from here.

Im getting constantly frustrated with myself at the moment. Theres so much stuff I want to get better at, some practical, some personal, I dont knowww.

Im trying my best to stick to the idea of my previous post and, strangely enough, the day that I was finally smacked over the head with the definitive result of the past 11 months, I actually had a really great day. I was a complete failure, the weather was awful, I looked like shit, we got told to leave the pub and wandered around tonbridge, there was little scattered 'hints' of drama here and there, and somehow, the day was just awesome. Pretty confusing stuff. Not that Im complaining. Better make the most of the moments when you can let go cause otherwise youll just miss them all!

I should probably go.