Friday, 1 January 2010

so this is the new year [01.01.10]

and I have no resolutions.


I have very mixed emotions about this new year.
I feel like we rung it in with questionable style, our style, which basically just means having a good time in the only way we know how. It's the only way I'd have it; Unpredictable, not too eventful, full to the brim of dizzy laughs, mild nostalgia and anticipation for the year ahead.
I always feel like it should be more significant than it is. A big deal is inevitably made, the pressures there to make plans and be wasted and publish the conclusive proof for all to see.
I guess it's 'cause it's so close to christmas and everything, it tends to creep up on you. I could've sworn we were muddling through mid november days ago, it does not feel like january.
The consequence of that being that I haven't made new years resolutions since I reached the age when they actually could potentially matter.
This year I'm going to make some. Upon thinking about it, a lot of the things I was thinking of are more "wishes" than resolutions, so I won't list them.

  • see family more than I do now. carry out more spontaneous visits (gotta love that contradictory sounding sentence).
  • watch classic films "everyone should've seen".
  • read more. I need to create a solid target for this one so it's actually achievable, but I'm not sure how yet... maybe just "read every day"?
  • don't lose anything of significant sentimental or monetary value.
  • bring the total of songs I've written to 50.
  • tell people I love them.
  • stop whinging about everyone hating me and just be satisfied that I have great people around.
  • experience some sense of direction. explore potential career paths.
  • take less painkillers than currently.
  • if any of these bands play in the uk (which most of them won't because of recent tours, but oh well) see them, no fail; death cab, the shins, florence and the machine, tegan and sara, passion pit, bon iver, city and colour, bright eyes, metric.
  • lose weight.
  • learn to cook healthy things. cook them often.
  • get my hair cut on a regular basis.
  • do not cut my own hair/allow anyone who is not a qualified hairdresser with qualified scissors cut my hair.
  • do not neglect my hamster marmaduke.
  • sell a photograph.
  • go to reading again.
  • make travelling happen asap.
  • write guitar parts I love, not like.
  • get glasses.
  • visit uni people.
  • work out the things I need to work out, and don't let them make me feel worthless (I suppose that makes no sense to anyone but me... I suppose that doesn't matter?)
  • get the most out of religion.
  • be honest, at some point, with someone.
  • learn to relax on the phone. call people.
  • do not get fired.
  • make being on time the norm, and being late the... ab-norm?!
  • stop crying all the time for no reason, because it makes me feel mad.
  • develop some pictures myself, i.e. use the whole set of darkroom equipment I bought off ebay.
  • put everything I can into the band.
  • don't get road rage.
I think that'll probably do, won't it?!

Monday, 28 December 2009

I am waiting for something to go wrong

I am waiting for familiar resolve
I am waiting for another repeat
Another diet fed by crippling defeat

And I am waiting for that sense of relief
I am waiting for you to flee the scene
As if you held in your hand the smoking gun
And on the floor lay the one you said you loved.

my joint favourite album ever.
binge.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

dirty and left out.