Friday, 9 April 2010

interrupted by the heat of the sun.

I hate dependence. I never want to be dependent on anything or anyone. and I really don't like how selfish I've become whilst "growing up".

...but if someone, anyone, could just save me, somehow. I think just this one time it might make things a whole lot easier.
I don't know where, who, how, why... I don't fucking care what happens but I need to believe there's more than everything I'm seeing, or more to the point not seeing right now.
I need to believe there's any point in me being here at all. ever.


p.s. this is not a grubby emo suicidal post, that's a bit 2006. this is what I want, this is what I need and not because someone feels like maybe they should check I'm on the rails still. agh I don't even know what I'm fucking on about now. sorry.

I just narrowly missed smashing a plate on the floor, I'm quite sleepy and I've got work tomorrow so I suppose it's bed time. hopefully I won't feel pointless a la matin.

melodrama... it's what I do. how's that for a tagline?