and all of the things that you wouldn't dare say, they're all stuck in statis, and they're true all the same

I wrote it all down. what I hate, what I'm scared of, what I want, what I've lost. I wrote all of it down and I thought it out and none of it liberated me.
what am I supposed to do now? I'm not asking, telling you I want something. I'm just desperate, and I suppose what I'm saying is that I don't know how the fuck to live without it anymore.
there's nothing left. there's just nothing left.

no one's ever going be on my side when we're acting like this.

I know I've dealt with something wrong, but honestly I can't work out why all this is down to me. It's being on the outside.