...But Ive Been Lying, And Youre Gonna Hate Me For This.

... so a rather great friend of mine pointed out there was a gap in my usual insanely frequent blogging, and I thought it was for a good reason but it turns out... not really. I would have ended up waiting till I was in an awful mood and then venting it all out on here, which is silly, really.

Plus, right now Im trying to write my personal statement, and what more productive a way to procrastinate?

Firstly, Take Off Your Colours is a really great album- surprise surprise, so go get it if you havent already, and value my opinion at all / have some cash.

I myself dont. Im actually in debt currently due to the fact that the ultimate bastard outside Astoria charged me £40 for a ticket last night, which I was not expecting. Whats worse is that I actually probably could have bought one off the people behind me in the queue for about £15 if Id taken a risk. But I actually dont care... much... because the gig was worth a hell of a lot more. I think live shows tend to keep my faith in just about everything alive, so Im certainly going to try and go to as many as my empty pockets will allow.

I keep getting these very odd thoughts. One today was involving faces, which I wont go into, but I keep thinking, 'A year, two or so from now, Im going to be some place... and I have no idea where'. It sounds prrroper stupid, but I find all this potential future business really quite weird. I know what I want to happen, what should happen, what Im going to basically spend my life trying to make happen at all costs. But a year from now I could just have given up and been reluctantly reduced to some... institution somewhere, bitter and escaping every opportunity I get. I could be living out of the back of a van. I could be living out somewhat of a dream, if Im allowed to drop in a cliché. But I would like to know, not even skip it all, just know. It worries me that I pin my hopes on something which, I can understand, from an outsiders perspective, is pretty fragile in a lot of ways. Because maybe Im not the type of person who can afford to do that, maybe I havent got what I need to do that.

Well to be frank, the next few years I know will be really, really great so I should just be looking forward to that right now I think [=

Yet again Ive written out a sentence, been afraid of jinxing things and had to delete it so... I think Im out of things to sayy =/

Sorry about the lack of substance here, on many levels. Lates.