Im very much thinking of getting that as a tattoo...
This is another post as a result of boredom I think, so I guess I'll just describe my day in painfully intricate detail? Nah Ill spare you that, but its been a few consecutive damn gooduns.
Not to be using this as some kind of blogging refrain to which I shall continuously refer, but I am going on holiday tomorrow... Still slightly nervous for a melodramatic array of reasons and flawed reasoning... did that even make sense? No, no it didnt.
Saving Britney Spears? Jeez, the womans troubled, stop profitting of someone elses losses! Whatever happened to the good old fashioned sweep-the-insanity-under-the-carpet-and-pretend-crazies-dont-even-exist attitude eh?
Anyway, Ive been thinking about faith quite a lot lately, walking through a church yesterday I guess made me think a little harder. Dont you find certain places or people always evoke certain emotions or force you to dig a little deeper? Well me and religion arent doing very well at the moment, possibly because Im starting to lose sight of things and get caught up in the pointless little battles that everybody fights every day. But I think the way people cope with things like that makes them who they are and forces admiration on people like me. Who dont (cope), frankly.
Ive recently learnt that theres too many things, too many words which only escape my lips when Im ridden with guilt, fear and panic... maybe when I think thats what they want to hear. But it doesnt mean Im not speaking with conviction, that just seems to be the only time when it seems ok in my head.
Ive very much digressed from my original point, but I think I'll just go with it.
Basically the only times I can remember feeling completely defenceless and inhibition-less, and exposing myself- in the least physical way possible- is to one or two people when Ive been on the end of a phone, shaking hand, tear stained face. I wont divulge the circumstances, because I guess thats kind of cheap. But I worry that I only say the things I should every single day, when Im experiencing the most extreme of emotions.
Wow Im exhausted. And I havent packed yet. And Im leaving in... well, eleven hours, but ideally Id spend some of that sleeping. And now Im freaking about getting on a plane. Its going to be a lonnggg day.
Please please please let the next week go okay.
Oh by the way, if youve for some freak reason stumbled across this strange little journal, Im not constantly contemplating the meaning of life and overanalyzing every emotion which beats its way through my chest (just slightly more often than is healthy, debateably), I simply only blog when Ive got something on my mind, or I can think of something specific. Just to clear that up...
Whoever reads this, whether its no one, whether it were twenty people (distinctly unlikely seeing as I have given the address to one person, and if anyone else were to glance for whatever reason into this specific corner of the world wide web, they might be stunned beyond belief by its mundaneness- apparently this is actually a word) wow, what a ramble.
My original point; whoever reads this, I hope you have a great day... week... year... life! Whatever. Maybe boredom starts to turn you a little bit insane sometimes...
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