Im Sick And Tired Of Worry, And Youve Got Me Worried Sick.

Please, give us fucking strength.
I only come to you when Im in the most desperate places and Im asking you to fix these things that I cant by myself. I wish I could say this was the last time but Im never daring to think that again. And you know what, I never thought Id be praying for this one persons strength.
And I want to be the person who has that dedication committment all the time because I know thats who I need to be to believe in this...


So it seems all it takes is one night. A night which generally, for me, went better than a lot of others. But one single event getting out of control and triggering this domino effect... it changed everything.

Once more everythings built up, theres this huge pile of issues, I cant see to the top so its like Im scrabbling aimlessly clinging to everything I can, and yet, I cant be enough. I never will be enough to resolve this. And I am too weak to be your cure.

I wish that I wasnt lying awake thinking about the people that literally keep my world turning. Not because then I wouldnt have to deal with it, but because I dont want there to be anything to worry about. I want the knowledge that those people are okay- really alright, and honestly, I dont think any of them are right now. This is fucking killing me.

If anyone reads this. Im so so sorry to sound this self absorbed, honestly. Im just lost as to what else to say and do now. I think I might go and pound my head into a brick wall, or is that what weve all been doing for the last week anyway?


This was supposed to perfect.
Fucking great beginning of the end.