what a pretty little colour you were.

take two.

I'm starting this post over. my tummy aches.

things are about to get real hectic in my world, I feel. this isn't a complaint, though. I'm nervous about it, but it's all through choice and it's all pretty excitingg.
on monday I start my new job. temping as a secretary full time in london... that's the kind of thing I was praying for pre-gap year (not the temp part, but they may well have more lined up for me after travelling). so I've got that, plus maintaining my job in maidstone for as long as that can work. pretty sure I've never worked more than 6 straight days in my life, you're not really supposed to, but I'm about to do a minimum of 13 full days in a row. this is going to be a 54 hour work week. I don't even care, I'm going to have a comfortable fund for travelling, hopefully can squeeze in a reading ticket too, and fingers crossed I can whack in a couple of (flying) uni visits. to clarify, that's not off this one week. I'll be working minimum 6 day weeks for 6 weeks. fucking sorted.
on top of this, I get to try my hand at a whole new kind of job, with about 5 times the confidence I had in september and a nice new grown up work wardrobe, in my favourite place in england. plus I don't even have to compromise by giving up the job I currently really like. dead and loaded, that's what I'll be.
on top of this, the date for moving to london is jumping around all over the place, but it could well be in just a few weeks. I'm pushing hard for a new, slightly bigger bed as some kind of compensation for my being, as they put it "uprooted".
I'm also looking into applying through clearing because it seems to be the only way I can get any kind of student finance. still struggling through the personal statement but it'll happen eventually.
I finally faced the embarrassment of having a full on car breakdown, in the middle of BUSY CROSSROADS, this morning, ON MY WAY TO WORK. funnily enough I managed to call out my sleepy mother, still got to work on time, and after a coffee and a cigarette was fairly chipper.
I'm really going to miss driving, but we were weeks away from finding poor useless alan a new home anyways, s'all good. but I hate trains.
instead of finding new cool places I seem to be reverting at the moment. two consecutive nights spent in spoons, mostly sober, bowlplex... s'been good.

the best news of all though
travelling=booked.
dear lexo kindly slammed down the deposit and we're on our way. now it's final injections, visas and plug adapters, bug spray and greyhound-booking agogo. 7 weeks. 4 continents. guitars and a voice and a glock. I'm starting to make this sound like a reality show. I cannot wait. and I'm really going to have felt like I've earned it.

I think that's all. this is at least 5 times the length of anything I've done for my personal statement so far. it's worrying how much shit I can churn out when I'm not thinking about it.

I feel crazy ill and tired now. I'm too old for late nights.