Don't Be So Hard On Yourself

...The Way That We Play, Has Such Confrontation, And Guilt By Association...

After a fairly lengthy discussion today, designed to make each of us feel better about ourselves, I thought a lot about... that. Body image, self-esteem and whatnot. Its just really tragic that you can be walking down the street and whole bunch of the people you see are riddled with all these hang-ups that, most of the time, are unjustified. But you know what it doesnt even matter whats true, because no one deserves to feel like theyre worth less (as in not worth quite as much) because of the shape of their nose, or the look of their ribs, or the size of their eyes.
This also got me thinking, when/does that ever change? Do you just gradually care less? Because I always visualised me fixing everything I hate about myself, not gradually getting more comfortable with it all... Having said that, I dont believe some of the things people say have genuine belief behind them, some things are just so unfounded, and it almost seems as if its turned into this competition. Anywho, I shant be often thinking about such things in this amount of depth because it bums me out, in about a billion ways and contexts.

In other news, Im bored. And I love how hypocritical saying that is because I complain quite aggressively about people informing me of their boredom, and now Im sharing it with anyone who cares to read/accidentally (foolishly) stumbles across this blog. In any case, I mean it in the larger sense, I am quite sick of how repetitive life has become. The best summer to date should break the cycle, but I swear to God, if I dont get a job immediately and end up spending it alone, hell will be raised. This is a goal. This is healthy [=

And now, for this I blame Christopher, because he always puts everything in context somehow... now begins the contemplation of the last two years... how in the HELL has it come and gone like this? I know everyone says time flies but the last two years have gone faster than I could have possibly been prepared for. Theyve probably been the best of my life, mainly because I really feel like, for the most part, Ive been... kind of in control, and Ive had the right people around. Though its kind of tainted by the fact that I feel exactly the same as I did when we started... I havent matured, I havent been made over, I havent fallen in/out love, I havent lost anyone or anything significant and I want exactly the same things. That last part I wouldnt change. In fact I dont really mind about any of it, it could be a whole lot worse. I hope not to jinx this, but it looks like were ending this 'year' on a pretty high note.

PS: The weathers bloody beautiful.