Id say you have no idea, but you probably know a lot better than I do, that you made me so much better.
But it took so long I didnt even notice in the end.
I have no idea how, but you fucking fixed me, in more ways than anyone could think of.
And now I barely see you, and I miss you so much its physically hurting right now.
There is nothing I want less than for us to take away the one thing thats holding the messed up, fragile remains of this friendship together. But youre not in it for everything, and thats not your fault because you deserve everything.
I miss that youre so easy to talk to and I really, really just want to talk.
I miss that I pretty much felt like you actually liked me.
I hate that now when I do see you its not like it use to be, and theres this uneasy self-awareness.
I dont know if its you.
I hate that I was trying to distance myself from everything and everyone, and I think in moments like this that honestly I need you.
Im guessing this is being without people you havent been without before.
And I really dont want to feel this ten times over.
It kills me that I waste time over-thinking the negative aspects of this and I dont actually care that youre critical sometimes, because you wake me up.
I know that if you could see me right now, youd probably tell me Im being a complete idiot, because I am.
Why couldnt you just have fucking stayed?
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